And a new year begins with Hope

I'm not really sure how I want to write this post, but I've been putting it off long enough.  I think the longer I put it off, the harder it is going to be.  It's difficult for me to put my feelings and thoughts into comprehensible writing in normal situations, let alone emotional ones, but here it goes.


                My sister Wendy, my Mom, me and Amelia  on my Mom's 60th birthday this past April

About 2 weeks before Christmas my mom found out she had a tumor in her abdomen. The Monday before Christmas she had surgery to remove the tumor and a hysterectomy.  It turned out that the tumor was Stage 3 ovarian cancer.   They also found it on her appendix,  bowel and some lymph nodes near one of her kidneys.  It was a long surgery and her hospital stay ended up being longer than planned and included quite a scare at one point, which then required an  overnight in the ICU.    It was a very long week for all of us, but especially for her.  So many thoughts, prayers and love were sent her way during that time and still are.   She came home the day after Christmas and has been recovering very well.   Even though it wasn't the Christmas we had planned, to have my mom still with us is by far the best gift one could ask for.  She is a tough one and I'm amazed at how well she is doing.   The human body and it's resiliency is absolutely astounding. 

My mom has always been very healthy, so this all has been very shocking, overwhelming, scary, surreal, stressful, and by all means a  roller coaster ride of emotions.  I can't even imagine how my mom must feel. 

I live 3 1/2 hours away from my parents, which right now is really feeling like it's far away, but I just have to remember that it is much better than being in Idaho where I used to live.   I feel fortunate to be a SAHM because I was able to spend 2 weeks at my parents house while all of this was going on. My sister lives just 20 minutes from them and is able to pop in whenever she can.   I wish I could do that.  I miss my mom and just want to be there for her and my dad.    It gives me comfort to be there with her and have her close, to make sure she is ok and help out with everything,  plus I know that having her grandkids there brightens her day.

It's hard for me to welcome this new year when I know what my mom has to go through.  Besides having just been through major surgery, in a few weeks she has to start chemotherapy.  So instead of  saying "Happy New Year", which doesn't feel quite right with everything going on,  I've decided that this year will be a "Hopeful New Year"!  With hope comes  the belief that a positive outcome lies ahead, and with hope comes the strength, courage and confidence that I know my mom will have to win her fight against cancer. 

(Mom, I know you read my blog.  I love you.)